Pretty interesting observations about general human sentiment, in technology and other social/global issues. It's not easy to reevaluate one's intrinsic beliefs about a topic, but perhaps the article is really suggesting to not shrug off opposing opinions; to consider and understand them rather than seeking affirmation of one's own beliefs from others around them.
Sort of interesting blurb on how best to ask for help in forums like stack overflow.
Articulation of what different levels of quality look like for arguments, ranging from actually refuting the central point to name-calling.
- one framework lists this as a hierarchy, including refutation, counterargument, contradiction, responding to tone, and attacking ethos
- another framework describes the existence of meta-debate; discussion about ethos, delivery of arguments, biases, social norms
- interestingly, different varieties of argument can be equally effective
-
bulverizing is a logical fallacy where you try to prove by assuming the opponent is wrong by associating the validity of an argument with the ethos of the arguer
Thanks for the Feedback
This book presents a framework for thinking about what feedback is and how to give and receive it.
- Giving feedback is generally very difficult. It takes thought to have constructive criticisms, and courage to deliver it.
People have impulse reactions to receiving feedback that can lead to misinterpretation of feedback.
- truth triggers, feelings that the feedback is untrue
- relationship triggers, biased against the giver of feedback
- identity triggers, feelings that one's personality is being attacked
Managing and understanding one's own reactions can allow one to be more receptive to feedback.
- appreciation, expression of thanks, recognition of work, validation
- evaluation, expression of results or relative standings
- coaching, suggestions for avenues of self-improvement, accompanied with some unavoidable implicit evaluation
Understanding feedback is the first step of receiving
- important to be aligned on what category of feedback is being shared, and even what the receiver is expecting
- important to decipher labels that have been assigned (interpretation of the giver's information)
- if labels are understood, understand what you have in common and also what differences in experiences and biases that could impact why two people disagree about feedback (ask for examples or ask why they feel that way)
- understand your own biases
Knowing how we come across can help decide which pieces of feedback are important or invalid
- we have blind spots, and may need an honest mirror to tell us that
- know that close friends will usually act as the supportive mirror over the honest mirror
- feelings define intentions, influencing actions which affect others and ultimately generate stories used for feedback
- understands which stage a piece of feedback might be targeting is key to learning from it
Switchtracking can derail feedback into an argument
- relationship triggers (who, how, when) are impulse responses to feedback, which can result in raising relationship issues in the form of an argument
- switchtracking is the result of a relationship trigger, where a new topic is raised which may seem related to the feedback but is actually a separate topic or piece of feedback to discuss
knowing how feedback naturally affects our happiness can help to identify spiraling situations
- baseline level of happiness can shift based on positive vs negative feedback, but eventually will return to the baseline
- which combination of feedback recovery we are can determine our natural comfort level with feedback
- short recovery from negative + long lasting positive = low risk, high reward; love feedback
- long negative + long positive = high risk high reward
- being able to spot patterns in our reactions can help us mentally prepare for and catch situations where we might have otherwise negatively reacted
Labels and self-perception of identity
- often we hook onto labels as our sense of self-identity; I definitely do
- "loyal", "motivated", "fair", "smart" are some strong binary labels that are thrown around a lot
- recognizing that you are not all-in on a label in your own mind is important to cultivating a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset, where you are open to learning, to accepting that there are areas for improvements under a label
- feedback that contradicts our picture of ourself, in the context of shallow labels, can feel like an attack on our own identity